Chapter III

It was completely night when Ami Issa urged me to rush in order to reach very quickly the bus for he feared that something might happen to my comrades left asleep in the bus. After having crossed the small valley which was linking the slope of the mountains with the national road, Ami Issa used his lighter to make his bus much clearer for he could no longer distinguish things from each other. There was a period of dead silence while Ami Issa was trying to find his bus out. Although, he vainly managed to visualize his engine in the endless darkness as if it sunk in the depth of the nightmarish landscape; beside the fear we still felt after such an encounter.
"Can you see the bus?" he asked with despair mixed with fear.
"I can almost see you and me!" I answered him and tried to persuade him that the bus was maybe anywhere in the darkness.
"Don't worry Ami Issa… we'll find it" I affirmed shudderingly to Ami Issa as I led him from the valley's bank to the road. While crossing the footbridge which normally leads to the main road, Ami Issa whispered in my ear as if someone were with us "Can you see that light there or am I dreaming?"
"You're not dreaming Ami Issa! But it seemed a fire rather than a light… Or maybe someone is trying to show us the way… but who can he be?" I replied.
"I cannot dare imagine that the man who holds the fire should belong to the extremists" cried Issa with a somewhat fear and for a time he seemed to be choked of concern.
"did you say extremists?" I asked with a voice full of worry and concern.
"My word! Did I say this?" he answered wanting to convince me that he never said that word, "anyway my son don't care because I say sometimes things that have no sense…then let us go ahead to discover the source of this fire"
Lost in astonishment, I looked at Ami Issa wanting to extract at least a mere explanation of what had been said and thought about.
We walked on as far as we could see very close the bus or as we could reach the source of the said light. In a short moment of surprise, all our fears and concerns were away. It was nobody but Moh handling a newspaper on fire to show us the path, as if he was waiting for our coming. He was wearing a "cagoule" for he wanted to be hidden from any suspicious eyes that might recognize him.
-Hey, Where have you beeeeen?? ...I have been seeking you for hours!
-Salam Moh...I left you asleep, didn't I? ...I thought you did all the night for you were so tired. I said to him
-Moh's like a Woolf; half-asleep and half-awake. Ami Issa said hinting that he knows him very well.
-The others are still dead... said Moh with a light smile
-What?? You said dead?? My god ...I was almost certain that they would be killed... Though, where have you gone ...and how have you managed to escape... and who were those cruel killers ...and,
He stopped me bursting in a long laughter, and then told me;
-hey, wait!! What are you talking about?? Who are those killers?...And who are then the killed...and who escaped ...and who remained? No one was murdered, my dear... I meant by dead that our fellows are asleep like deads as they could no longer move nor utter one word.
I lasted in a deep lap of petrifaction and loss, and both were observing me as if they saw a maniac in one of his moments of crisis. My absurd questions and my stupid behaviour left an impression of wonder on them. However, no one of them could understand what was going on in my brain. My mind was like a stony pot full of wonder, fear, meaninglessness and apprehension. Here, I got in a deep and flowed thought:
"What would my mother think of me? Would she think that I'm dead? Should she keep patient even she certainly knows that some dangers are threatening me wherever I am. She may be thinking of me as a great hero who will be honoring her and the name of our family. And my father, my lovely father. Sheikh Abbes whom everyone regards as the wiser in Guelma. My sisters too, will they be proud of me or ashamed if I feel fear. My café friends who will be waiting for me to tell them all the stories the will have expected to listen to. For all those I must never fell fear nor death itself…me…me the rotten kid of an altruist and rich parent who have given me everything but courage and power. Me! The lazy child whom the unique concern has been to hurt my two sisters despite their love. The only thing of importance I did in my life was the years I spent in the University of Annaba. But will these years of medical study help me in my journey.
Lost deeper into my memories, I could recall every moment of my wonderful childhood and could also evoke anything would make me forget about all the difficulties I would face. Went on into long discussion and both tried to speak less loudly. Perhaps they did not want me to overhear them or they might intend to talk with lower voices to let me drawn more and more in my thoughts.
The darkness surrounded us from all sides, we could no longer see one another, and I could only perceive our shadows moving like extenuated ghosts. However, we were still attempting to reach the bus very quickly because Moh was guided us and because we felt approaching a probable storm.
"Hurry up " Ami Issa shouted us." Surely a storm is at hand, then we should be at the bus in few minutes" He added with a firm voice.
"But how did you know about it" I retorted for there was no sign to a coming storm nor even to an apparent rain.
"I'm almost sure my son," He answered firmly and confidently with a small smile as if he was inwardly saying to himself what this child may know in this life as I do.
"Look at the sky" he asked me. "There are neither stars nor moon"
As I heard immediately his sentence, I raised my eyes to the sky, and here I noted that Ami Issa was right. However, at the same time, I strangely noticed that Moh was almost absent for he said nothing while we were talking about the storm. Although, I was certain that Ami Issa and Moh know slightly each other for they were from the same village, Moh never replied to anything said by Ami Issa as if they were father and son or at least had been together for a considerable time.
"Perhaps they are very close to each other. Maybe they are further but i'm vainly trying to dissuade myself by the opposite. But they have been talking sofltly intending to not to make me understand what they were speaking about. Maybe they were talking about simple matters. I even wonder wether they are good or bad. Yet Ami Issa was so brave in the forest that I have been confident and that I have had no fear…Moh too…Moh seems brave, pleasant and kind…can he be the opposite? Impossible and unbearable would it be if he were…stop feeble brain!!! Stop weak spirit!! I've lost all my friends because of this reason…I often prejudge my friends. I "shouldn't pass judgment on other people"because, sooner or late, I'll be left alone and none will address me any word. Hence, I need a huge and high cataract , like those of Niagara, to drop on my filthy brain and to clean it from all my weariness, my skeptical behaviour towards people and my exagerating cynicalness."
"What is happening to the Doctor, Ami Issa?"
"I don't know, he looks strange. But I don't know why he is staring us like that."
"Yes, you're right, he has not moved his eyes from us since we started talking about what has just occured in the forest."
"Hey, Doctor!" Moh shouted at me but I could not answer him for I was still in the parallel world, the world of
I'd like a heavy rain to wash my soul from all its flaws to begin a new life full of honesty. I need all these for I simply and actually need them…all what I have done in the university with the innocent girls was wrong and inadequat for it would not honor my family,my father,myself…me…me who have had everything…me who have benifited from all the patterns of a garanteed good education…I really want to redeem …why not to repent…God will accept my sollicitation… my repentence is necessary and inevitable for I need it for all what would be happening in the near future…DANGER…FEAR…and even DEATH will be at hand at any point of my trip line…my destiny line…I need …I n.
“Quick! Quick!” cried Moh " you become as wet as a drowned dog."
"I cannot hear you" I answered while I could no longer see anything. It fell in drops of water from the clouds and cursed upon my head.
"Moh!! Ami Issa! Where are you? I can't see you nor hear your voices," I cried seeking help and salvation but none answered me.