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Sorry but I Love You

Script By: KittyBellDarling
Fantasy


(Under construction!) Okay, this is the 3rd version of this script. Okay, here we go... The first version was too "cheesy" according to some readers - it was more of a fairy tale style. The second version was too "sloppy" - it was a Shakespearean style of writing. What else can I do???? So here's the greatest version of them all, and it better be because I'm not changing it at all. (: Presenting the Kitty Bell Darlingean style. w00t w00t.

Oh yeah. And if you're wondering what kind of name "Retter" is... It's German for "savior." (: See, I don't use useless names! View table of contents...

 

Submitted: May 29, 2008    Reads: 1003    Comments: 47    Likes: 6   


Under Construction!

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[Sorry But I Love You]

Once upon a time...
There existed a beautiful kingdom,
One of which that had
so many elaborate colors of nature.
One of which that had joyous peasants.
A kingdom of which that looked so pure,
A truly prosperous kingdom.
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So perfect that no one would ever
think to look twice to see
if anything was wrong.
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Look twice and I'm sure you could
see all the cruelty within.
Secretly, this kingdom was
a place where a boy would kill
an old lady for a few coins,
With people in the park
witnessing this unmoral act,
And not having a care in the world
about it.
alt
Yes, it was such a socialist place
that marked mockery to the "untouchables."
The untouchables: People or creatures
that lived a sinful life.
A status placed on them if
they were contrasting
from the rest.

None of which were truthfully sinful.
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That was what this gorgeous place
really looked like on the inside.
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It held a girl that barely could even live
because she was an untouchable.
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Such beautiful kingdom.

Such a lovely girl...
alt

Freezing rain fell out of the sky like a swarm of killer bees. It flooded the allies of a beautiful kingdom where a girl lived. Ruby eyes peeked out of the dark with hopelessness. The girl wrapped her arms around her frozen body as she cried. She was trying her best to just survive. With a home made out of a few flimsy boards... What else could she do? Rainy nights like this was just a struggle.
This girl was so innocent and pure... Yet she was labeled as an untouchable. She wasn't a whore... Dressing up in flashy clothing and sleeping with filthy men. She wasn't loved... Living in a pleasant home with parents that spoiled her everyday. She wasn't even the slightest bit ordinary... Possessing a normal body draped in simple clothing with nothing amazing. She was none of these things. She was nothing like any other girl in the kingdom.
She was so unappealing that her mother kicked her out of the triplex. With such pride and greed... There was no way the mother would let her daughter destroy her perfect imagine.
The girl was born more differently than others. It wasn't a different like being blind or having a birth defect leaving her mentally retarded... No. She wasn't quite lucky enough for that blessing. On top of her pasty white forehead are two razor-sharp horns. Running down her back is a tail that swishes aimlessly. With the ability to fly, shooting out of her shoulder blades are two scaly wings. Because of such hellish features, the people of the kingdom know her strictly as the "demon". Demon became her name. These reasons were why she was an untouchable.
Adults in the kingdom always left her miserable by being ill-mannered. Demon would lay under her wooden canopy as they cursed, "Look at that demon! She must have came straight from the underworlds!" They never realized how much these words pierced her fragile heart. Children would find entertainment by throwing rigid rocks at her head. They wouldn't leave her alone until her head was covered in blood. All she would do was cry along with this mockery of being an untouchable.
Living brutally, Demon had survived nine years of this suffering. Starving with fruit stands surrounding her and being alone in crowded streets just became routine. At the current age of 14, this tormented girl has never been loved by anyone. She doesn't even know the definition for the word love. No one loves her, not even herself.
Aside from this cruelty, this really was a magnificent kingdom. The ones that ruled it was the Royal Family. Currently there is three members in it: a queen, a king, and a prince. All the peasants worship the Royal Family and rely on them. Demon never showed any care for them. Well, that is until one night...
It was a night when curiosity struck her mind. Demon just wanted to know so badly what was so "godly" about the Royal Family. She flew up to the highest towers of their castle and spotted a man. A gorgeous, 17 year old man with flowing black hair and sapphire eyes. That was when her heart started to get a warm and fuzzy feeling. The feeling of hers was so strong that her heart would beat hard and fast. She had no clue why she got this feeling... Except that it was towards the Royal Family's son. A feeling that she had never
had before...
Demon: Demon loves to see this man's face! A face that brings Demon so much joy... Demon has never felt so much joy towards a human before! But this joy is different from when Demon is able to find scraps of food in the garbage. This joy is extremely different and Demon has never felt this happy before! There is no way for Demon to describe this feeling of mine. All Demon knows is that Demon wants to keep this feeling forever and ever...
Demon smiled to herself inside her wooden domain. The rain was pouring but for once she didn't mind... She just wore a smile on her face.
Demon: If only Demon could tell the prince this feeling. It would make Demon feel wonderful. But it wouldn't matter no how. No one cares for Demon because Demon is an untouchable. Demon is hideous. He'd probably be like all the rest and send Demon down to the nether-worlds... Demon is sorry, prince.
Demon was unable to describe this recently developed emotion that she held dear. No matter how hard she tried she just couldn't escape from that feeling. She didn't know what to do. Everything about the prince made her smile. Just simply hearing peasants mention something about the prince made her blush. She felt alive for once.
For the the longest she would visit the castle every time there wasn't a moon out. In complete darkness Demon would hide behind fig trees and watch the prince. It gave her the worry of someday being caught but it didn't matter... It was worth it to her. Even with all those bad impressions made by other humans, she thought the prince seemed kind and gentle. It made her believe there are some good people in the world.

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One night...

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During the night with no moon...

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The day which her destiny was decided...

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The next day...

Almost everyone that lived in the kingdom was crowded around the platform in front of the Royal Family's castle. They were gathered there for an important announcement. They didn't know what it was about... The fact was still there, it was to exile the prince and daughter of the devil.
Out from the castle walked a party of five. Retter and Demon walked together with following close behind them was the Queen companied by two guards.
Demon: Demon is sorry that Demon got you into this. It's all Demon's fault.
Retter: It's not your fault at all. Don't say that you're sorry... No one had any right to treat you like that. The whole title of being an untouchable... That's unmoral and wrong.
Demon: Suppose you're right. Demon is sorry.
When the pair reached the end of the platform they stopped. The peasants started booing the demon girl and threw objects at her. She whimpered at they struck her body. Dashing in front of her, Retter blocked the objects. When they struck the prince, the crowd stopped.
Queen: Here today we have some unfortunate news. We are exiling today. Out of all the history of this kingdom. We have never had to exile one of the Royal Family's own... Yes, today we are exiling the prince, Retter. He is now an untouchable for committing a sin. The sin of protecting and showing emotions of affection towards the daughter of the Devil.
Demon started to mumble...
Demon: I'm not the daughter of the Devil...
Demon scanned the crowd. A person caught her eye. It was a beautiful lady that looked exactly like her... Minus the hellish traits. The lady just stood there with a smirk. Demon pointed at her mother.
Demon: Look! Everyone! It's Demon's mother!
Demon smiled happily and flew over to her mother. The crowd remained silent as they stared at the demon girl.
Demon: Mother!
Mother: What are you talking about?
Demon: You are Demon's mother! Demon remembers!
Demon's mother remained silent.
Demon: You might have been able to fool everyone in the kingdom that you didn't give birth to Demon. But Demon knows better. Not to mention, Demon is happy to see you!
Mother: Happy? Happy to see me?
Demon: But of course. Why wouldn't Demon not want to see Demon's own mother and do this...
Her mother started to laugh playful and smile big. When all went silent, Demon spitted in her eye and flew off joyously.
Mother: Why you bitch!
Demon: Demon might be a bitch but Demon has a prince!
Mother: Love between a demon and prince? That's impossible! It will never last.
Demon: Dont' be so sure. Demon won't be a whore and cheat! Unlike Demon's mother!
Mother: What the hell is your damn problem? How could I ever give birth to something as hideous as you?
The crowd was completely silent...
Demon: Demon doesn't know! Maybe because you sleep with so many other guys than your own husband!
The crowd began to curse at Demon's mother.
Guy: You gave birth to that?
Women: You said you never had a child!
Guy: You lied to everyone! What a sin!
Gritting her teeth, the mother began to lie even more.
Demon: Stop being so rude to Demon's mother! It's not her fault that she is a whore and can't control her lust! After all, Demon is the daughter of the Devil! You should be rude to Demon! I bet none of you people can hit Demon! Even if Demon is as slow as a goat!
Everyone started throwing stuff at Demon as she just played along and teased. She talked about how great the prince was and the crowd would just reply that it was impossible. That there was no way for him to love her... She knew it was true but she still pretended.
Over on the platform, the prince and his mother chatted.
Retter: If father wasn't away at another kingdom at the moment, you wouldn't get away with this.
Queen: You're right, I wouldn't. But I refuse to have a son that acts friendly towards a demon!
Retter: You're heartless. All the people of this kingdom is heartless!
Demon flew over to the two and started to giggle.
Queen: What is your problem, scum?
Demon: Demon has no problems! Except Demon has on thing to say!
Queen: What is that?
Demon: Demon thinks you're a bitch!
Snickering, Demon flew up into the sky spinning herself around. The Queen growled at the Demon's happiness. For once, Demon didn't let the words of others get to her. She decided to not have a care in the world because it didn't matter anymore.
Queen: You think your so great don't you? Saving this vixen... Do you think you are some kind of hero of something?
Retter: No, I do not view myself as a hero. I see myself saving the life of this beautiful girl that has been treated so badly by others. That's all I am. If I knew about this sooner... I would have left the Royal Family and took her with me a long time ago.
Queen: It will never last. A prince and a demon together... There's no true love between that.
Prince: I'll prove you wrong. That's a promise.
Queen: That's enough. I do not wish to listen to your rubbish anymore.
The Queen raised her hand into the air.
Queen: Guards, escort my son out of the kingdom! Make sure this she-devil follows!
The guards that where standing behind her took out their swords. Pointing the metal at Retter, they directed him out of the kingdom. They walk down the steps of the platform into the streets. Within the streets, peasants cursed at the untouchable. It was like he was never once the prince of the kingdom.
The Queen's guards escorted Retter out of the kingdom's gates. Demon flew closely behind acting like she has never been unhappy in her whole life. She performed air shows as the peasants threw rocks at her. She gracefully dodged them and taunted the people. When she flew out of the kingdom the drawbridge was raised. There was no turning back anymore... Never.
Demon: Demon didn't like that hell house kingdom anyways!
Demon giggled as she spat out ridiculed phrases.
That day Retter became an untouchable... Nobody would ever treat him the same way ever again in his life. It didn't matter, he could no longer return to his parent's kingdom ever again. He left his life of luxury just in order to save Demon's life. Even knowing all this... Retter had no regrets because everyday he just grew fonder of Demon. He fell in love with her personality and beauty. For the time being, that's all he needed... A gorgeous untouchable to be with him... Even if she a Hellish psychical appearance. It didn't concern him.
Retter built Demon and him a cottage to live in. It was located east of the Royal Family's Kingdom deep in a forest. A place where hopefully no one would find them except passing travelers. It wasn't the best of all homes, but it was their home.

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One day...

Gliding through the crystal-clear sky, Demon smiled. That early morning she had snuck out of the cottage without Retter knowing. She wanted to go to a field that bloomed pink flowers to make him a bouquet. She just wanted to do something to tell him thank you for saving her life.
Retter walked out of the cottage with a confused look on his face. He had no idea where Demon had gone to. It wasn't like her to just run away like that in the morning... She always slept late. He thought that maybe Demon didn't want anything to do with him anymore... His heart sank.
Retter: Demon! Demon! Where did you disappear to?
Demon didn't appear anywhere...
Retter: No... Please don't leave me, Demon... Please come back!
Tears started to form in his eyes and he drooped his head. The worst started to be born in his mind.
Retter: Did you leave me? Do you no longer want to be with me anymore, Demon?
Retter started to cry uncontrollably. All he could think was that Demon left him. There didn't exist a reason, just a nightmare.
A slight breeze blew as Demon sailed down to the ground. She gripped the pink bouquet while a smile played on her. She hoped that Retter would like her small gift.
Demon: Demon wonders where Retter is. Demon just wants to give him these pretty pink flowers! Demon doesn't know what they are but Demon likes them. Demon hopes they're not poisonous...
When she spotted her prince, her stomach started to flutter. Running over to him, she hide the present behind her back.
Demon: Retter! Retter! Demon has a surprise.
But when she arrived in front of him... She broke inside. Retter had tears streaming down his face and was mumbling to himself. Demon had no clue why he was in so much pain.
Demon: Retter? What's wrong?
She began to frown.
Retter: What? Demon is that you?
Demon: Yes! Demon is Demon. Tell Demon what's the matter. Demon feels sad inside seeing you like this.
Retter looked into the innocent girl's ruby eyes. Swiftly he turned around and wiped the tears off. When he turned back around he had a stern look on his face. He cleared his throat.
Retter: Please don't worry, Demon. It's nothing.
Demon: Really?!
She jumped up in relief and grinned.
Demon: Demon is happy it's nothing! The sad feeling is no longer. Demon feels the feeling of happiness now.
Retter: I was just afraid that you might have left me. I was worrying...
Demon: Why would Demon leave you? You are the only person in the world that is Demon's friend. Demon wouldn't leave Demon's only friend. You also make Demon feel so weird inside, but Demon loves this strange feeling.
Retter: You're right. I was just afraid.
Demon: No! Demon is so sorry for making you afraid. Demon doesn't want to make you afraid.
Retter: Please don't say you're sorry about everything. Don't apologize so much.
Demon: Demon is sorry for saying sorry! Demon won't say sorry that much anymore. Demon is sorry...
Retter: It's hopeless.
Demon began to feel like she disappointed Retter.
Demon: No! Demon just wants to make you happy!
She quickly took the pink bouquet out from behind her back.
Demon: And that's why Demon got you these! All to make you happy. Demon doesn't think they're poisonous.
Retter was surprised that she woke up early to get him a present. He began to smile as he accepted the bouquet.
Retter: You shouldn't have, Demon. They are pretty.
Demon: But Demon wanted to!
Retter: Thank you.
She felt pleasure from making Retter smile so big. Then a thought crossed her mind... Something she has never thought of before...
Demon: Demon has a question!
Retter: What is it?
Demon: Why did you do such a thing? Leave luxury to save Demon's life. It doesn't make sense.
Retter: Why is that?
Demon: Because you were exiled from the kingdom! All those people talked bad about us and... You don't even love Demon back! Demon knows! Then what's the point? What's your reason?
Retter: Because you are the most beautiful girl I have ever met.
Demon: Demon is?
Retter: Yes. No one should ever have to suffer... Especially you.
Demon: Thank you... Demon says, "Sorry but I love you." Demon knows you don't love Demon though.
Retter: And who is to say that? Maybe I have a surprise for you.
Demon: What?
Retter: ...I'm sorry but I love you too.
And at that point Demon had never felt so happy before. She finally felt like she was where she was supposed to be. To her, this was her only dream that finally came true.
Retter grabbed Demon fiercely by the waist. She blushed as he kissed her passionately. Held tight within his arms, she felt emotionless.
Demon: What was that?
Retter: A kiss.
Demon: A kiss makes Demon feel so... Alive.
Retter: It makes me feel alive too.
Demon: Demon's heart has never felt so happy. Demon loves feeling this happy. Demon's book of destiny was rewritten because of you. Demon no longer suffers and Demon's heart doesn't feel so sad. Because now Demon knows how you feel about Demon. Demon says, "I-I love you with all of my heart, and I'm not sorry." No Demon will never feel sorry because of that no longer. Demon is in happiness.
The petals from the bouquet began to float away in the wind. They gracefully danced in the sky mixed with the clouds. This was the happiest day that Demon has ever had... Ever.

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No one knew why Retter
fell in love with a girl that
suffered so much,
Especially a girl that was
an untouchable;
a so called "demon".
With such an act,
Retter was even titled
an untouchable by the kingdom.
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Shortly after the Retter
confessed his love
towards Demon
they were married.
No one could ever view
a more gleeful pair.
'Till death do they part,
They promised to each other.
All they wanted was to live
together in their little cottage.
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Maybe the place where these
two untouchables lived wasn't
of the highest quality like the
prosperous, beautiful kingdom was.
A simple, little cottage
that looked loathsome to
any traveler passing by...
But it was their home
where they lived the rest of their
lives together in merriment.
To them, this place was truly
a beautiful kingdom
of their own.
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It was so odd though,
A prince and a "demon" that
admired each other so much.
Everyone said it was impossible...
They proved all those peasants,
the Retter's mother,
and Demon's ex-mother
very wrong...
That what they owned
was certainly true love.
They proved that the impossible
can be very possible.
...Bittersweet...
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Readers that just read
this fairy tale,
It was written
straight from the heart...
Go ahead and laugh at it...
Say that it's impossible,
Say that it's tawdry,
Say that it's just some
foolish fairy tale.
But I'm sure everyone of you
can relate to my story in some way.
Remember,
No matter how the story is told
the point is still the same...
Typed in black and white
with some pink...
It's all here.

...The end darling...
alt


6

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Comments:

aww very tuching story even for afarie tale i can kindof relate to the girl bing blind since the ageof 4 my self

Posted: May 30, 2008

Author Comment:

:D Awwwwww, thank you. hee.

hi! kbd. u refreshed my memory about all the fairy tales i had read. it's very touching. for she deserved the prince. and the prince her. lol. ;-)

Posted: May 30, 2008

Author Comment:

Ha ha! We always forget those sweet fairy tales that actually are kind of sweet~ Thank you.

This was a turn on the ugly duckling, the language was amazing, somewhere between the fable/fairytale and like we were actually there. It made me reflect on my own life, I sympathised with the girl :) I thank you for a great read :D

Posted: May 30, 2008

Author Comment:

Oh thank you! [= This like totally makes me want to write more. ha.

Cutie
(not registered user)

AWWWWWWWWWWWW. Dang girl, this thing is super awesome! GO YOU!

Posted: Jun 1, 2008

Author Comment:

:D

I loved this, and can relate a little to it. It was so sad the beginning, it reminded me a little of cinderella you know mean people, mean to her, love the prince, prince love her etc. ^^ well I'm off to read more of your stuff!

Posted: Jun 1, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you! I will post more things like this soon! [=

It'a absolutely fantastic.....Though fiction it was so realistic!!

Keep up the good work......till then I'll read more of your stuff!!

Posted: Jun 2, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you. [=

Just throwing out some constructive criticism, but this story was remarkably cheesy and unoriginal. Why must the boy who saves her be a magical unobtainable prince? Why can't her savior be a normal person who digs deep and decides what is right. The person who saves her should have to sacrifice something for what is right, and the prince sacrifices nothing, loses nothing, and receives all the credit.

It was well written though. Good words and emotions. Keep Writing!

Posted: Jun 2, 2008

Author Comment:

Blah. Thanks for the criticism I suppose even though I hate stuff like that. An duh it's freaking cheesey and unoriginal --- IT'S A FRENCHING FAIRY TALE! That's the freaking darn point dawgg! Besides I wrote this when I was a little girl! Don't destroy my cutsie little dreams like that! GRRRRRRR!!!!! And duh it was well written because I'm so awesome. Thanks for realizing that dawg. Ha. Don't worry, I just let mie emotions get a hold of me. GAWD!

(responding to the above response)

please don't use the word 'dawg' and definitely don't describe something as Frenching...Fance is aweful.

Feel free to hate me.

Posted: Jun 2, 2008

Author Comment:

Awwww, don't worry about it. Just on one of my moody moments. ^_~ And of course I will use dawg and french because I'm a kidd and I like those kind of things. I'm not going to hate anyone, I love the world and all the people in it even if I don't act like it. I like France though! Every place in the world is amazing! Besides I'm rewriting this because I was a little kid when I wrote this and never got to it because of school. Yet I wanted to present it early to the world. Ha. No hard feelings, 'kay?

Hmm... your formatting does not only inspires me... it also amazes me (with my lower jaw on the floor) XD XD

Posted: Jun 3, 2008

Author Comment:

Hahahahaha! xD Thanks cha'! Hahahaha

oh I don't agree with Luna!!! ahaha! ahhah! haha! haha! haha! haha! oh my what am I saying XD XD XD its fantastic! you can be a writer ... writing childen's books... uh... children books... ahh... childen book... ahhh... lets see... cutie tubsie little book... with my rubber duckie on the roof... ahhh!!! I just love it

Posted: Jun 3, 2008

Author Comment:

Read the updated version! It's better! hee :D

yeah it changed! huh what happened it has transformed! we're transformers gr gr! XD

Posted: Jun 3, 2008

Author Comment:

HAHAHAHA!!!!!! XD Transformers! More than meets the eye!!! ^^

Xunker
(not registered user)

Hey my doll face! When you called me over here to see how you could imporve your writing I thought you were being series!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD But when I get here I only see a well written script by Miss Darling Kidd! If your worrying about that comment by Luna then just don't worry and be happy because is is OBVIOUS that others love it! That Lune dude and/pr chick is probably some stuck up bitch. So go all gr gr on her or something. J/K with you babe. Actually just don't worry because I -LOVE- it with all my heart. Call me back over whenever you need SoMe REAL help. ^_~ See you around love Xunker (Morgie)

Posted: Jun 3, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanx Morgie very much. I love ya' girl and I thank you so much for reconstructing my emotions because when be critise me I have mental breakdowns and spazz out! Blah. I know its good that all was maters! Love you baby darling. [=

I just wanted to let the world know that I'm not a mean person like you might have noticed in Luna's reply. Blah. Even if it is constructive criticism I still hate it. This story was sopposed to be cheesey and cute plus unorignal to bring back the feel for fairytales that most of us have forgotten. ]=

Posted: Jun 3, 2008

....
Awe!! Its so cute! lol. I love it!!

Posted: Jun 3, 2008

Author Comment:

Haha! Thank you! :D

Aww..So cute ^^ It was beautiful. Great job, and keep writing! :D

Posted: Jun 3, 2008

Author Comment:

Awww! Thank you! :D

This is my personal fav out of your writings
:)

Posted: Jun 3, 2008

Author Comment:

:D Thank you very much! :D

Cute, Hahahaha! You wrote this when you were little? Really cheezy, but cheezy is good (alright whoever says it's not will DIE!! MUHAHAHAHAHA!) Anywho, its really cute. Good write kitty ^^

Posted: Jun 4, 2008

Author Comment:

:D Beside fairytales are supposed to be cheesy but that's the point to a happy ending! ^^ hee :D

Aww this was sooo cute! Definitely every girl's dream to be saved by a dashing prince, eh? Of course, every girl's Prince Charming will come someday...I liked this a lot! I got a good visual of how the girl looked and the prince =) Cheesy is definitely a good thing when writing fairy tales. I agree with Punishment; anyone who says cheesy isn't good will die! hehehe

Posted: Jun 4, 2008

Author Comment:

:D Thanks! I knew cheesy was a great thing for this story! :D

ohh i love this story!!!!
its soo cutte...
hope u write more of this...
-fairy tales
i love them...

=]

Posted: Jun 5, 2008

Author Comment:

Cheers for fairy tales! Woohooohooo! Thanks so much. [=

Your free flow of words add charms for it, necessary for fairy tales. Good script.

Posted: Jun 5, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you!!!!!

You have written it very well.

Posted: Jun 5, 2008

Author Comment:

:D Thanks.

www.worthpoint.com
(not registered user)

You are such a beautiful writer!! This story is so well-written, I didn't want it to end! Wonderful job, you are an inspiration.

Posted: Jun 5, 2008

Author Comment:

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

This was adorable! WRITE MORE STUFF!

Posted: Jun 5, 2008

Author Comment:

I will soon. I'm thinking some more fairy tales! :D

hey it was awsome girl keep wirteing ok ur really good!

Posted: Jun 5, 2008

Author Comment:

:D Thanks so much!!! :D

Ahaha, that was so cuteeeee. and awesome!
Lol, Darling is what we aim forr? LOVE that xD

Posted: Jun 6, 2008

Author Comment:

Hahahaha. Yeah. That's my slogan! Hahahaha. And thanks soooooooo much!

A good fairy tale has its place - I found it very original, not "cheesy" at all - although maybe you "asked for that" by your little end comments?? Maybe would have worked better by being proud of your work for what it was, ended it with the happily ever after and not with the little voice of uncertainty you offered - have courage my friend!
I gave it an I like it vote.

Posted: Jun 10, 2008

Author Comment:

O.o - "Yeah.."

Heh that was a ctually really good. The theme and the overlining ability put into this short work were beyond what anyone could ever hope for between a "demon" and a prince. This is an excellent story. Check out my stories tooo if u want.

Posted: Jun 14, 2008

Author Comment:

:D Thank you!!!!!!!

I really liked that story.
To sum it all up.
It makes me want to cry tears of joy for the two.
Keep on writing great storys.
:)

Posted: Jun 15, 2008

Author Comment:

XDDDDDDDDDDDD

I really liked that story.
To sum it all up.
It makes me want to cry tears of joy for the two.
Keep on writing great storys.
:)

Posted: Jun 15, 2008

Author Comment:

:DDDDDD Thanks!

I really liked that story.
To sum it all up.
It makes me want to cry tears of joy for the two.
Keep on writing great storys.
:)

Posted: Jun 15, 2008

Author Comment:

[= Thank you very much.

Sorry i posted three times, didn't mean too.
You can just delet them and this.
:)

Posted: Jun 15, 2008

Author Comment:

xDDDDDD Hahahaha. They add character! ;D

It is such a nice piece for reading

Posted: Jun 18, 2008

Author Comment:

:D Thank you.

I really liked it!

Posted: Jun 18, 2008

Author Comment:

:D Thanks.

this was an awesome story I loved it

April Writer

Posted: Jun 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you. =D

awesome story you should try typing a story like this but much longer like a book. your really good.couldn't stop reading it.

Posted: Jun 20, 2008

Author Comment:

Oh yes diffently!!!! I already have a longer version of this and I plan on posting it here. ^^ Thank you very much. =3

Joe
(not registered user)

i realy liked this
it reminds me of my girlfriend (^^

you have a realy cool writing style
i do a bit of writing too

how old where you wne you wrote this?
im 15 and i am seriously considering writing professionally when im older

btw i found this over stumble so its complete chance
i love luck XD

keep writing
xx

Posted: Jun 22, 2008

Author Comment:

xD Aw. Thank you very much!!!!!

You deserve the upmost regards for the fairy tale..... very outspoken and shows what true love is about its not all about the mirror reflection but wht the heart of the beholder sees !!

please check out my poetry... im new to booksie soo every bit of advice and comments would be appreciated

Posted: Jun 23, 2008

Author Comment:

[= Okay then!!!!!!!!! Thank you very much. Can't wait to read some of your stuff.

Very touching. I loved it. It definatly shows what true love is about. I'm a lil bit new here so maybe you could check out my work?

Posted: Jun 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Sure thing. ;D And thanks so much!

Definition of innocence twisted with pure luv, I like the emotion being based upon it. Nice work

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you very so much!!!!!!!

This is really good, it's unlike anything I have ever read. You portray how tortured the girl is really well in your writing. And the ending is so sweet!! I wish I could write like you! :)

Posted: Jun 27, 2008

Author Comment:

:D AWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! Thank you sooooooo much!!! This comment makes me smile! [=

*tear* M3ga AWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! SO SWEET!!!
But seriously Everyone who treated her badly HAS A STICK UP THEIR @SS...........and if not THEY CAN GO SUCK ON SOMETHING!!!

Posted: Jul 2, 2008

Author Comment:

xD Haha! That must be the most awesome comment i have gotten on this story! Rock on! xD Thank you so much!!!!!!! :P

please read my essay and give your comment.

thanks

Posted: Jul 5, 2008

Author Comment:

????? What the flip! xD I'm not feeling it man. Sorry.

Nice :)
liked it alot :)
keep it up:)

Posted: Jul 11, 2008

Author Comment:

Haha. thank you. (:

Courtney
(not registered user)

could use a little work, but you've got a good start...just a bit of editing and some more elaborate vocab and it'd be quite a bit better
not that it's not a good story, the form is just a little sloppy
i liked it though

Posted: Jul 12, 2008

Author Comment:

(: Did you even read the summary, dawg?

Lovely
(not registered user)

The storyline was decent. There was alot of bad grammer and lack of better word. This story is so charming on the outside yet has so many problems on the inside. It needs work. I don't want to bring this script down, its still good. Just not perfect. Keep up the work.

Posted: Jul 13, 2008

Author Comment:

D; You pie eating hobo! =( What am I going to do. Maybe I'll just leave this site in sadness because I'm a horrible writer! J/K But seriously... WHAT IS YO PPLS PROB? xD

Katie
(not registered user)

that was great! i loved it. not to meantion, it was cute. i don't know what to say! im completely stunned.
keep up the good work!

btw, what kind of name is retter? that a weird name. j/w.

Posted: Jul 13, 2008

Author Comment:

(: Oh, thank you~ I was expecting something to be all blah at me or something -.- Well thanks for liking it even when it's under constrction! ^^

Very sweet. I like it alot!

Posted: Jul 20, 2008

Author Comment:

But it's not even finished~~~ xD Thanks.



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