I play my music in the background softly ; as to not wake up my elders .

I can almost smell the embers left in our fireplace ;

a feeling that never will displace

its final place inside my heart your ripped apart

so violently gentle as you watched my tears fall down.

But as I see your pain ,

when you look upon my face ridden with my blood ,

soiled with a broken promise to keep my crimson river from flowing ;

though i will admitt in the moonlight as I see your tears

all my problems disapear ,

i peer unto the face that used to love me .

do you still love me ?

The love has dissapeared ,

as had my color from my skin ,

this deadly feeling sinking in .

reverse my pain revers the flood ,

my blood pouring onto his limp and tearstained face ,

as he holds me close in place ,

he cries on the outside

but i'm looking in ,

within his heart is a hole waiting

waiting for the same reason fate keeps me here

so I won't disapear into the dark abyss ,

feeling nothing but lonelyness .

The twilight in your eyes captivates me ,

I smile reasurringly .

I wake up in a cold blank room ,

I feel the needle in my skin ,

the sharp needle pin ,

I see the blood transferr

that kept me alive

instead of having it deprived .

I recall your stragne emotions.

They were unlike you ,

so is that truely you who knew

who knew all along that it was with me that you belonged ?

I remember How the crimson river flowed so easily ,

how the moonlight reflected off casting an eerie glow around my ocean i've created

just as the gods cryed our oceans i bled one .

The way your salty tears felt on my cut ,

so painful yet so wonderful .

The pain let me realize

whats truley in your eyes ,

i'm alive ,

yes i'm alive ,

I haven't learnt my lesson still ,

i stare at those pills,

lined up in order ,

i'm crossing the border ,

here newspaper tape this on your recorder ,

i'm done with your ego ,

your society of lies ,

built upon emotions i despise

my tries

meant nothing to you

I cry for help ,

I cry so loud yet

when i wisper my feelings of hate for you you hear

i wish for not your demise

but my demise,

I take another hit ,

i'll split,

i'll bet my life on a poker game ,

i'll throw it so i lose ,

its all the same .

its always the same at the same time

when its never the same .

Change happens letting everything stay the same .

So who is really to blame ?