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The Earth and The Sky

Poem By: Nixie
Poetry


Another poem! I know, I can see the surprise all over your face. I really have no idea if this is any good or not. View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Jul 3, 2008    Reads: 67    Comments: 21    Likes: 11   


 
There came a rattle of thunder
As the violent Sky rolled her eyes
The Earth turned to hide her face
Shivering in the shadows below
There came the clappers
Clashing and calling eager Rain
Earth looked up at the offering
Feeling the gentle touch of her lover
 *
There came the promises
That Sky had longed to say
And Rain came heavy with joy
Till Clouds parted for a kiss
 *
There came sorrow and comfort
Holding each other all night long
One not without the other
For without they would surely die


11

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Comments:

I just adore personification.
The path to the soul of the universe widens a bit when something right is really right.

Passionate lover's fighting.
Great job Nixie.

Posted: Jul 3, 2008

Author Comment:

I love writing personification these days. It just works and it's fun. You hit the nail on the head, passionate lovers fighting (I imagined that to be like a storm with the lightning striking the Earth) and then making up, which is always the best part. :) Thanks Classy! ~ Nixie

Hmm? I get a sense of comfort from this. They are consoling each other, easing eath others pain after the fighting. I think its lovely and it makes me want to cry a little bit. This one doesn't speak to me, it shouts out my name. I love it Nixie!

Posted: Jul 3, 2008

Author Comment:

Yep, that's exactly what they're doing. It's a bit like, they're allowed to have their differences and the best of us fight with the one we love, and at the end of the day they both know that they need each other and so they forgive and forget. I'm glad you can relate but I don't like that it made you want to cry though, are they at least happy tears? I'm pleased you live it! :) I was a bit unsure of this one. Thanks my lovely! ~ Nixie

That was so beautiful.

Posted: Jul 3, 2008

Author Comment:

Aw, thank you Susan! :) ~ Nixie

Wow, very nice job, Nixie. Ted

Posted: Jul 3, 2008

Author Comment:

I'm so glad you like it Ted, thank you for the lovely comment. ~ Nixie

wow-really beautiful-the ending was dark and sad, but I really liked it :D

Posted: Jul 3, 2008

Author Comment:

Aw, I thought the ending was tender... and maybe a little sad. I am all smiles that you liked it though! :) Thank you! ~ Nixie

There came sorrow and comfort
Holding each other all night long
One not without the other
For without they would surely die



YES HOW TRUE....soul ful and filled with love ...

Posted: Jul 3, 2008

Author Comment:

Aw, thank you hon! The last stanza is my favourite, can you imagine the earthe without a sky or visa versa? It just wouldn't happen, it would be the end. :) I'm really glad you like it, means a lot to me. ~ Nixie

This is very well done. In my view you could make it better though. Here's an idea. You could remove some of the 'the's. I'll show you what I mean -

There came a rattle of thunder
As violent Sky rolled her eyes
Earth turned to hide her face
Shivering in shadows below

Not all work like the ones I took out of the first stanza. You can see the alliteration works much better on the last line now. Maybe there is some way of avoiding the repetition of 'her' as well?

I can see the vision behind the words and this really works as a piece of anger between two factions.

Posted: Jul 4, 2008

Author Comment:

Yep, I see what you're saying. I might change it later on if I was to ever take it somewhere, your suggestions are appreciated, I really hadn't seen it like that so thank you. I don't know about changing her... will see, reason being I like them both feminine. :) Thanks again, I am glad you liked it. ~ Nixie

I say leave it Nixie, I love this one absolutely!
My kind of poem, the forces of nature roll through my soul when I read this one;)
What a force to give life to, move people with*
My favorite line(well, of coarse)
'And rain came heavy with joy'
~smiles*

Posted: Jul 4, 2008

Author Comment:

Hah! I love the rain, anything to do with nature gets me. I think I will leave it for now, a few words here and there could be change if I was to ever publish it but, hah unlikely! Thank you for such an awesome comment, I'm chuffed you liked it so much! :) ~ Nixie

Just reading again...

Love it Nix.

Posted: Jul 4, 2008

Author Comment:

You make my day! :)

Hy dear,How is life? tell me.
Congrats for this beautifull thought, i can compose it very well but now a days i haven't enough time and i feel weak too very much due to my study. The idea is good and you wrote very well on it and i think try to grab its soul with emotions. But i do not know, that how much my dear sister agree with my view.By the way tell me. Well today when i open my account and in my fanlist when i saw your newly added pic,which is very pretty one than your last fews,its grab my attention and quickly click on it and move here and i copy it in my pc.I saw here you posted almost everyday a new post,that's interesting like a Writing therapy.Well i discovered a new web that provide full space for making your own site with interestingly your own domain name like: www.nixie.com ,i describe about it later and send an emil to you OkOk!! I think you should try to make your own site with this wonderfull tool.

Wish you a very happy day.Pay my love,respect and affection to all over their in your family.
God bless You.
Your brother-VICKY.punne4e

Posted: Jul 4, 2008

Author Comment:

Hey Vicky, you come up with such good ideas! Is this your own site? How do I go about making my own? I will have to speak to you on email. By the way, what is it you’re studying?

Yep, I guess writing is much like therapy, well poetry is, it tends to write it's self these days. Well, thank you for the awesome comment, you always have something sweet to say. I'm glad you liked it! :) ~ Nixie

Eric JHRB Egan
(not registered user)

Great stuff Nixie babe, you are the best.

Posted: Jul 4, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks Eric! ~ Nixie

hi! nixie. the thirst of earth was quenched by an eager dripping sky. and it gave birth to love and life (crop). not many poets can find symmetry over the meeting of earth and sky although they do meet at the horizon. but u've united them in love. and there lies the beauty of this poem. a simmering poem. lol. ;-)

Posted: Jul 4, 2008

Author Comment:

Hey, thank you for that! I think these two will always remain together even when apart, metaphors are great huh? :) Thank you Bubbly, I'm glad you liked it, appreciate the comment. ~ Nixie

Excellente. Just saw Mongol - great movie, and the setting of this poem reminds me of that intense lover vibe.

Posted: Jul 4, 2008

Author Comment:

Oh, I haven't seen that film but I think I might check it out now. Thank you for the comment Massonic, I'm chuffed you liked it! :) ~ Nixie

wow, that was really good!

Posted: Jul 4, 2008

Author Comment:

I love getting 'wows' :) thank you Sonia! ~ Nixie

Nixie - This is one of my favorites of your poems. It seems sweet and sincere.

Posted: Jul 5, 2008

Author Comment:

Phew, then I'm happy. This one I wasn't sure of at first, I never know when I give too much of myself away but it means a lot to me that sweet and sincere came through. Thank you Buttercup! ~ Nixie

Very good; reminded me of Blake's kind of thing.

Posted: Jul 5, 2008

Author Comment:

Really? Then that's a compliment! Thank you, and thanks for stopping by Terry, I'm pleased you like it. ~ Nixie

you r right Nic, they absolutely complement each other....hey buddy, i can back to read again...something pulled me back ...
it makes me wonder...what r we without each other....

Posted: Jul 6, 2008

Author Comment:

Exactly! And I think something’s are just drawn together naturally, like the laws of nature. It represents a relationship of a higher meaning, that's really not in anyone’s control, it just is what it is. :) I'm SO happy you came back to read this, thank you hon, very sweet!! ~ Nixie

The senses and feelings that spill forth from the read is amazing.. I love it Olwen

Posted: Jul 6, 2008

Author Comment:

Aw, good I'm glad that they show. This really worked out better than I thought at first. Thank you again Olwen. ~ Nixie

A beautiful poem Nixie! You have such great talent! Once again, so peaceful, serene with love and life. The simplicity in your wording is excellent. THis is an excellent poem, I love it!

Posted: Jul 7, 2008

Author Comment:

Aww, what a lovely comment! I'm SO pleased you thought so much of it! I don't have the words to thank you enough!! So I will just repeat it, THANK YOU! ~ Nixie

So great. Loved the third stanza

Posted: Jul 9, 2008

Author Comment:

Yeah, :) that's my favourite bit too. Thank you for stopping by Codey, glad you liked it. ~ Nixie

Very pretty! In many languages Nature is referred to in either masculine or feminine, such as the German: Die Sonne und der Mond (male Sun and female moon). Some of the ancient wisdom remains in our language.

Posted: Sep 6, 2008

Author Comment:

Interesting! I might have to try using a little Die Sonne und der Mond in my next poem! Love hearing facts like that, thanks for reading and sharing. ~ Nixie



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Other writing by Nixie I am (song lyrics) If walls could talk A romantic alcoholic More..



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Love, Poetry, Life, Death, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, God, Horror, Hate, War, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Depression, Fiction, Heart, Family, Faith.

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