
Random First Lines: do the D-A-N-C-E1 2 3 4, fight!stick to the B-E-A-Tget ready to igniteyou are such a PLAIN WHITE-Tflashing al... : Other » Read
Another poem! I know, I can see the surprise all over your face. I really have no idea if this is any good or not. View table of contents...
Submitted: Jul 3, 2008 Reads: 67 Comments: 21 Likes: 11
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I just adore personification.
The path to the soul of the universe widens a bit when something right is really right.
Passionate lover's fighting.
Great job Nixie.
Posted: Jul 3, 2008
Hmm? I get a sense of comfort from this. They are consoling each other, easing eath others pain after the fighting. I think its lovely and it makes me want to cry a little bit. This one doesn't speak to me, it shouts out my name. I love it Nixie!
Posted: Jul 3, 2008
That was so beautiful.
Posted: Jul 3, 2008
Wow, very nice job, Nixie. Ted
Posted: Jul 3, 2008
wow-really beautiful-the ending was dark and sad, but I really liked it :D
Posted: Jul 3, 2008
There came sorrow and comfort
Holding each other all night long
One not without the other
For without they would surely die
YES HOW TRUE....soul ful and filled with love ...
Posted: Jul 3, 2008
This is very well done. In my view you could make it better though. Here's an idea. You could remove some of the 'the's. I'll show you what I mean -
There came a rattle of thunder
As violent Sky rolled her eyes
Earth turned to hide her face
Shivering in shadows below
Not all work like the ones I took out of the first stanza. You can see the alliteration works much better on the last line now. Maybe there is some way of avoiding the repetition of 'her' as well?
I can see the vision behind the words and this really works as a piece of anger between two factions.
Posted: Jul 4, 2008
I say leave it Nixie, I love this one absolutely!
My kind of poem, the forces of nature roll through my soul when I read this one;)
What a force to give life to, move people with*
My favorite line(well, of coarse)
'And rain came heavy with joy'
~smiles*
Posted: Jul 4, 2008
Just reading again...
Love it Nix.
Posted: Jul 4, 2008
Hy dear,How is life? tell me.
Congrats for this beautifull thought, i can compose it very well but now a days i haven't enough time and i feel weak too very much due to my study. The idea is good and you wrote very well on it and i think try to grab its soul with emotions. But i do not know, that how much my dear sister agree with my view.By the way tell me. Well today when i open my account and in my fanlist when i saw your newly added pic,which is very pretty one than your last fews,its grab my attention and quickly click on it and move here and i copy it in my pc.I saw here you posted almost everyday a new post,that's interesting like a Writing therapy.Well i discovered a new web that provide full space for making your own site with interestingly your own domain name like: www.nixie.com ,i describe about it later and send an emil to you OkOk!! I think you should try to make your own site with this wonderfull tool.
Wish you a very happy day.Pay my love,respect and affection to all over their in your family.
God bless You.
Your brother-VICKY.punne4e
Posted: Jul 4, 2008
Great stuff Nixie babe, you are the best.
Posted: Jul 4, 2008
hi! nixie. the thirst of earth was quenched by an eager dripping sky. and it gave birth to love and life (crop). not many poets can find symmetry over the meeting of earth and sky although they do meet at the horizon. but u've united them in love. and there lies the beauty of this poem. a simmering poem. lol. ;-)
Posted: Jul 4, 2008
Excellente. Just saw Mongol - great movie, and the setting of this poem reminds me of that intense lover vibe.
Posted: Jul 4, 2008
wow, that was really good!
Posted: Jul 4, 2008
Nixie - This is one of my favorites of your poems. It seems sweet and sincere.
Posted: Jul 5, 2008
Very good; reminded me of Blake's kind of thing.
Posted: Jul 5, 2008
you r right Nic, they absolutely complement each other....hey buddy, i can back to read again...something pulled me back ...
it makes me wonder...what r we without each other....
Posted: Jul 6, 2008
The senses and feelings that spill forth from the read is amazing.. I love it Olwen
Posted: Jul 6, 2008
A beautiful poem Nixie! You have such great talent! Once again, so peaceful, serene with love and life. The simplicity in your wording is excellent. THis is an excellent poem, I love it!
Posted: Jul 7, 2008
So great. Loved the third stanza
Posted: Jul 9, 2008
Very pretty! In many languages Nature is referred to in either masculine or feminine, such as the German: Die Sonne und der Mond (male Sun and female moon). Some of the ancient wisdom remains in our language.
Posted: Sep 6, 2008
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