That's when I started to cry. I would die tonight, wouldn't I? I would never make it out of this house. Never. My father has always stopped me from doing what I wanted and punishing me when I did.
Leila hugged me, and said she'd handle it. We walked inside and there was my dad, waiting for us. I. Will. Die.
Leila walked in and closed the door, acting like she didn't notice my father. Then, she put her head up and with a surprised face said,"Oh, hi, Mr.Denna! We're just getting back from the grocery. I hope you don't mind I forced her along with me." Leila smiled the whole time. My father didn't.
"Where are the groceries?" Leila didn't hesitate.
"I dropped them off at my house. I'm really sorry, my mom had told me to get a few things."
"I thought I stated clearly I didn't want her going anywhere because she was grounded." My father had his arms crossed and an angry look on his face.
"I'm sorry. I thought if I left her here, I wouldn' t be a good babysitter."
"You're a bad babysitter because you didn't follow the parents instructions." That was harsh.
Shortly after that, my father fired Leila. I was depressed because of it, and I had a severe beating that night. Over and over, he hit me. When I fell to the floor he kicked me and whipped me with a belt. I covered my arms over my stomach and rolled over, so he wouldn't hurt the baby as much. He didn't seem to notice, he was too busy taking his time beating me.
After that, all I could do was reach my arm and get a big pilllow off my bed. I felt sick, and ended up grabbing the trash can in my room and throwing up. I grabbed a blanket and covered up.
Then, I did a positively horrible thing. I cried. Why was this so horrible? Well, if my dad heard, he was whip me for every tear I shed. If I wiped off a tear, he wouldcount it as two. So, I cried as quietly as I could.
I cried for my daily beatings. I cried for Todd, who was being left behind. I cried for the baby, who might not have a chance to live because of my father. But most, I cried for my dad. Who beated me, because he decided he hated me so much. I cried about the rape, that got me in this big mess.
When I was young and had friends, we would play Truth or Dare. I picked truth one time, and they asked me what I was most afraid of. I told them I was most afraid of dying. If you asked me that question now, I would have a different answer. I would say that, I'm not afraid of dying, but afraid of not being able to live long enough to do the things I need to. I'd never turn sixteen and get my license, I'll never grow up and marry Todd, along with having as many kids as he wanted. But last, I'd never get to see my baby grow up. No, I don't think I'm ready to be a parent. But, I think I can love this child and give it a chance of life without my situation.
I put my hands on my stomach. "I promise you baby, I will not let you die." I whispered. Something was inside of me, growing, living, and soon to be breathing on it's own. I will not let go of this child.