At the abortion center the next day, Leila had met me, just like she had said. The doctor explained to me that, if I changed my mind before the abortion, they wouldn't charge me anything. I told them I wasn't planning on changing my mind. Leila hugged me and I went with the woman to a room.
As I lay there on the cold metal, I started crying. What was I doing? I'm a murderer. I'm killing a life. The baby never had a chance. That's when I made my mind. After I finished bawling, I told the doctor there was a change of plans. She smiled and said she knew I would change my mind. I walked out into the lobby and saw Leila reading a magazine. I walked over to her. "I couldn't do it, Leila. I couldn't be a murderer."
Leila hugged me tightly and said she would help me all she could. She was turning eighteen next month, and she would be renting an apartment with a friend about three hours away. She told me I could stay with them. I accepted the offer.
After Leila and I got in her car, she said,"You should tell Todd." That's all she said as she hit the gas and we pulled out of the parking lot. Tell Todd? How would he react?
Leila dropped me off at Todd's. I had told her to. I hoped that Todd would want nothing to do with me, I didn't want him in this jumbled mess. But the truth was, I hoped Todd helped me through everything.
I knocked at Todd's door and he opened it. He smiled and I said,"Can I talk to you?" He nodded and invited me in. No one was home, they were all at a fair. He didn't go because he was tired. I suddenly remembered back to a conversation we'd had at the Smoothie Shack.
"Todd? I need to ask you something."

"Okay, shoot."

"Are we...dating?" He seemed to think about this for a moment.

"I don't know. Do you want to?" I thought about this and then shook my head. He smiled and said,"Good."

I drifted back to the present.

"Listen Todd, there's something I want you to know. I understand if you never want to see me aga--" I was cut off short. Todd kissed me softly. We stayed like that for what seemed like hours of just kissing.
After we were done kissing, Todd said,"Nothing could make me not want to see you." I started crying, stupid, I know. I guess this pregnancy has got me real emotional.
Pregnancy. I still needed to tell Todd. Todd was holding me asking what was wrong. I figured it was better to get out with it.
"Todd? I'm pregnant." Todd looked at me. He took a few steps back.
"Wh-what? But we..we never.." He was pointing a finger back and fourth from me to him. I continued crying.
"Your not the father." I said quietly and I burst into tears. Suddenly Todd looked angry.
"You've been CHEATING on me?" He was yelling.
"I never cheated on you, Todd." I said softly.
"Then how did you go and get pregnant?" He screamed. I couldn't take it.
"Todd, I was raped!" I screamed loudly and cried. He looked at me. He came to me and hugged me.
"I'm sorry. I should trust you better. I'm so sorry." Todd said softly. He kissed me gently and I could taste the salt from my tears. He lead me over to his bed and we sat down, side by side.
"Can I ask you some things?" I guessed it would be alright, so I nodded yes."When did it happen?"
"About a month ago." I said, my voice soft.
"Why didn't you tell me? That explains the throwing up." The last part was soft.
"I didn't even know I was."
"When did you find out?"
"Yesterday." Then Todd asked one more question.
"Are you keeping it?" I looked at Todd's concerned eyes.
"I wasn't going to. But, I couldn't be a murderer." Todd continued looking at me. Then he reached out his hand and tucked a piece of hair behind me ear.
"Leah, I won't leave you. I promise." Todd looked truthful. I hoped like crazy he was telling the truth.